days like these.

Today, I looked back on us and smiled.

You really are a great kid.
I know I messed up. You know I messed up.
You were just doing what you thought was right in a fucked up situation.
And I know.
You trusted me, even after all I did to you.
And tried to be friends with me.

I understand, kid.

I'm not bitter about it anymore.
I look back at the whole thing and I smile.
You really are a great kid.
And I'm glad I got to know you while I did.

I love days like these.

i. can't. wait.

Lately, I've been really really really excited about my life.

my future, I mean.

College next fall... will be totally different than this year. New school. New people.

Ahhh, actual college experience. and not surrounded by guys in their 30s who don't understand boundaries. but people actually my agee. or around it. and more people.

which means more chances of cute guys. i need cute guys.

hcc = NO CUTE GUYS! hcc blows.:]

I'll be going into my major, hopefully only three more years of school.

Then rankin in the big bucks.

bankinnnn. bringin home the bacon.

In my own place. my own couch. my own kitchen. my master bedroom. pictures on the walls.

surrounded by people I love. and who love me.

Going over my plans for my restaurants.

Going out to buy my first puppy. :D

One of these days, I will be on top of the world.

and I. CAN'T. WAIT.

you.

you. and guys like you.

are the reason girls like me are such bitches to these poor boys.

we know what went down.

and i wish i could have documented it all.

because then maybe you'd hate yourself. "i know. i'm an asshole. i'm sorry..."

and i kind of want you to. right now at least.

you're the one that got away.

the one that made it all better. somehow.

understood. and knew.

made life fun.

made me laugh. and want to dance around with no music.

or to the sample music in the isles at wal-mart.

run the bases at one in the morning.

talk about forest gump, the Marines, and life on the hood of your truck.

and get ice cream at two.

i always heard the Amred Forces does things to people.

i didn't know it would be like that...

here's another life lesson.

and another bridge burned.

"i'll be seeing you."

Tomorrow, I'm off to Galveston for my very first wedding.
Tomorrow, I'm going to meet the family who told my mom to give me up for adoption
because she wasn't fit to raise me.
Tomorrow, I'm going to be reminded that I have to sell Charlee and Liam to my uncle.
And meet (or REmeet, as my mom calls it...) the daughters and granddaughters of my Aunt.
I'm not very excited.

I can FINALLY call Teri my aunt.
They can finally get the benefits of being married.
It's too bad Mimi can't be there.
Think David's dad and my Mimi are on their last legs...

Mimi has had a staff infection in her feeding tube. and has finally gotten her own room because of it. And we got a call on Monday saying it's turned into MRSA which means the infection is no longer responsive to antibiotics. so. that's her status so far...
David's father had surgery a few years ago to put a pacemaker into his chest.
He's been on some medications to bring down the fluid buildup in his lungs and to keep his heart and blood pressure normal. So far we've heard that he had gotten walking pnemonia and was taken to the hospital. They gave him stronger doses of his medicine...
and He's back in the hospital again. Surprise, surprise. anyways.

Enough of that.

I'm going to my first wedding on Sunday!
I'm watching Spidermannnn.:D!
Iluhdaspidermann.
and i'm going to sleep sooonnnn. and it's only 9:40. hehe.

More later. <3

Why am I always on here when I'm upset?
Why can't I share my good feelings?

God, why do you send all these freaks my way?
and when someone normal comes along I can't handle it.

You have me missing things by the tip of a nail. Good and bad!
Thanks...

Maybe it is to show me what to stay away from.
But don't you know what kind of person I am?
You KNOW I see the good in everybody, and I base all my judgement on that.
Sue me?!?
You of all people should know!

What the hell is gonna happen to me later?
Sometimes I hate being me.

Stephanie, if life was easy it wouldn't be worth it.

Yeah. I guess.