with my head in the clouds but my feet on the ground.

I'm having a really weird day. In some ways it's been really good, and some it's been pretty bad.

Let's start with the good.
First of all, i got to look at the cutest kid in the entire world for about two hours of my life. probably the most enjoyed two hours of my life so far this week. he's adorable... i can't even describe how adorable he is. it's not even comprehensible. and it's really weird for me because usually i'm nervous around guys i like, and i'm completely relaxed around him. it's crazy. and he's really really easy to talk to. like he can keep a conversation going, and he's good at starting it too. i feel like a fifth grader.
this starts something else, Melanie Aleman, you've made my college life sooo much better. i seriously don't know what i'd do without you. i feel like a whole new person, not completely, just my mood is totally different now.
i'm happy. and i get really giddy a lot, and i have someone to oogle boys with now. i love it. i've missed it throughout high school.
Klein Kubiak was an actual human being today. sat in front of me and when he passed the role sheet back to me he made suree i got it, i almost dropped it, which was cute. he payed attention in class a little and wrote some stuff down. annnd the girl next to him and he talked a little. hehehe. his voice. oh man. ohman.
i might be able to listen to Kirbys voice all day long. it's deep. and cute. and his eyes. and his face. and his hair. and his body. i'm gonna die. hold on.
oh man.
okay. wow he's cute. and sooo not in a relationship like his facebook says haha.
maybe that makes it easier to talk to him, why he's so easy to talk to in the first place. we'll see. it's probably better this way anyway.

I'm realizing i'm boy crazy.

When i was in college station, Travis came to Jameses dorm.
wanted to see me.
I missed him so much, it had been so long....
he was drunk though. i can't believe he drove. or made it.
he was spilling his heart to me. at least i know i didn't make all these feelings up. i actually felt something. and it wasn't fake, or psychological, he felt it too. i think that over everything helps the whole situation. everything he said to me was exactly what i was feeling, it was crazy. like he could read my mind...
"i mean, i've been trying to get over you, i've had the same girlfriend for over a year. i mean, i love her, but it's not the same. nothing feels the same."
over and over again, trying to tell me what he hasn't been able to. kept giving me kisses on the cheek when i'd go to hug him goodbye. yeah. i know...
you were the love of my life. i'll always have the biggest weakness for you, kid. <3

John Thomas Tomaini.
you are a dumbass. and i'm gonna freaking miss you. i miss you already. "this is the last time your gonna see me, ever." why'd he say that. i was fine until then. i can't talk about this.

i can't talk anymore.
goodnight world. <3